Kyle Chapter 5

The night was long as Cartman stayed by Kyle’s passed out form. For hours all Eric did was watch for any visible improvement. After awhile Cartman fell asleep lying next to Kyle on the bed.

Kyle woke up slowly. His head was throbbing as he tried to remember the night before but as hard as he tried everything was fuzzy and unfocused. He finally gave up on trying to remember and was about to get up and ready for the day, especially to brush his teeth because for some reason his mouth tasted disgusting, when he turned on his bed and saw the one thing he ad always wanted to see, Eric Cartman sleeping next to him.

He thought he must be dreaming and pinched himself, he cried out because he actually felt the pain of the pinch. He scrambled to get out of his bed and sneak out before Cartman could wake up but it was too late, his cry had awakened the German boy and he was starting to stir from his slumber.

Cartman woke up quickly when he realized he had fallen asleep in the first place. He started to panic when he didn’t see Kyle and started to yell out “Kyle! Kyle! Ky-“He stopped yelling when he looked up and saw his love looking at him with a panicky face. Kyle ran down stairs and Cartman followed.

“Why are you here? And why in hell are you in my bed?” Kyle asked. He was so confused that it came out angrily and he started to pace.

“Saving your life, ass hole.” The anger in Kyle’s voice had brought anger in his. He calmed instantly when he heard Kyle speak next.

“WH- what do you mean?” he sounded scared as he had a quick flash back of swallowing pills and running up stairs. He started to stare into space at the thought of his flash back.

Eric started to worry when Kyle seemed to stare into space; his eyes were getting wider and wider. He finally shook Kyle to snap him out of it. When he saw just shaking wasn’t working he started to yell a plea, “Please Kyle, snap out of this! Don’t do what Butters did, wake up for me Kyle!” Kyle was already starting to snap out of it when Eric thought he was about to lose him forever so he did the first thing he thought of, Eric Cartman kissed Kyle Brovflaski straight on the lips and then Kyle passed out.

Kyle was feeling dizzy when he was emerging from his trance; the shaking was making it worse. He thought his head would burst when he felt something on his lips. He focused his eyes for a second and upon the sight of Cartman pressing his lips against his own everything became to overwhelming and he fainted.

Kyle woke to Cartman looming over him biting his lip. “What happened?”

“What do you think happened?” Cartman asked nervously.

Kyle thought back to his last thought and scrambled away from Cartman. “You kissed me?! Why?!”

“I thought you would die…fag” Kyle noticed the slight hesitation in Cartman’s voice, his heart raced.

“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” Kyle was sad that he thought that maybe Cartman liked him for even a second. Cartman sat there for a few minutes, indecision clearly playing across his face.


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What the fuck are you waiting for Gaylord? Isn’t this what you came here for?

I know, I know but what if he rejects me? When did you become such a pussy? I bet when you do man up and tell him you will be the catcher. What do you mean? Yeah, definitely the catcher, hahaha. Fine, I’ll tell him, god dammit!


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“Actually Kyle…umm….I did because…umm...”

“Yes?” Kyle asked because he was getting excited.

“I also did it because I like you, I mean like like you.” Cartman said it as one word. When he finished Kyle threw himself on to Cartman, forcing them to be on top of each other, and started kissing him furiously. Kyle kissed hard enough to bruise unless Cartman opened his mouth to him. Cartman opened his mouth to let him. Kyle thrust his tongue in his mouth, exploring everything his tongue could reach. Kyle’s arms wrapped around Cartman’s neck, pressing them together as close as he could. Cartman started to undo his belt but Kyle pulled back and asked, “What are you doing?”

“I thought we were going to get into it.” Cartman replied but by this point Kyle scooted away from him. “What’s the matter? Don’t you like me?” Cartman looked down sadly.

“Of course I like you dude but I’m not doing it right now! We haven’t even gone out on a date or anything!” Kyle replied.

“You’ve sucked my balls before Kyle. Why won’t you do it now?”

“That was in Imagination Land and it wasn’t me it was an imaginary version of me!” Kyle was angry now, “I like you, really like you but if you want this to work we need to take this slowly, ok? Let’s go on a date or two and see how it works out before we go any further.”

“Oh yeah, how do you think the town will react? I don’t think we could just walk down main avenue hand in hand, acting lovey dovey. That and I’d be kicked off the football team, that’s the only thing that’ll get me into college. Do you understand that Kyle?” Cartman said, desperate for him to understand, "That is the only thing that can get me away from this town."

“Okay, we won’t go out on a date but we can have dinner in or just hang out.”

“We’ve hung out a million times before, what makes this any different?”

“Just humor me.” Kyle said. Cartman started to laugh as he got up and put his coat on.

“I’ve got to get home, call me every hour or so, so I know that you’re alright. Do I at least get a good bye kiss?” Humor clearly showed in his voice which got Kyle mad.

“If you keep laughing, no.” Cartman’s eyes sobered instantly.

“Better?” he asked. Kyle walked over to him and wrapped his arms around the shorter man’s shoulders. He leaned down and whispered against Cartman’s lips, “Much,” and kissed him thoroughly. Cartman laughed and walked out the front door, unknowing to both that Kenny was watching through the window the whole time.


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Kenny couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He saw his love and his enemy making out and looking at each other with extreme lust. They finally stopped. Kyle was grinning like a fool and only Kenny could see it because Cartman walked out quickly with a grin of his own on his face. Cartman was so happy that he didn’t notice Kenny standing right next to the porch. After Cartman left Kyle started to hum and seemed to glow with happiness. Kenny started t break down and cry because today was the day he would have confessed his love to his Jewish muse.



Midnight Writer